For fear that you’ll return, back from the dead, haunting me.
I WAS DONE WITH YOU.
Why must you invade my sleeping self, remind me of a time when we were a threesome.
When we bothered her at work until she got off so we could wander aimlessly around town.
When you acted like you cared.
When you were the you I knew.
Before you ruined it by refusing to hop off his dick for two damn second to call.
Now all I can do is beg for distractions so I won’t think about you.
So I won’t call you, tell you to come see my new room, tell you to come see me, to come eat the cake I’m baking again.
And all because you invaded my dream.
I was doing just fine by myself.
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME THAT IN REALITY I AM ALONE?!
I honestly want to hang out with the old you right now, but the person I knew is gone.
You were once my best friend; now you’re a ghost of the past.
I just have to remember that the person I miss no longer exists.

a lake, the lake, the one i visit fairly often during the summer, that’s precisely where i was.
and i knew precisely what i was looking for: a human male.
there were a few people there, but my eyes found a scrawny, young teen.
and he kissed me.
but it was interrupted by a man, an extraordinarily attractive man.
a man who knew just what it was i was looking for and wanted to give it to me.
my man.
and then a collage of moments, all quite wonderful, but not as memorable as what followed them.
a dim-lit room, my man shirtless sitting in a chair, a crocked smile gracing his face.
i sauntered towards him, sat straddling his lap, kissed him like i meant it, my arms falling naturally around his neck.
he lifted his hand which was closed around something, stared into my eyes as he opened it.
a gorgeous glowing ring lay on his palm; i couldn’t help but stare.
he told me that he took the moon and made this gift for me, asked me to be his bride.
he slipped the ring on my left ring finger, but it was at least two sizes too large.
i saw a tear fall from his eye, then another.
and he asked if i loved him and not just the way he looked.
and then i was crying, and kissing him softly, and telling him that i would wear the ring around my neck, close to my heart.
and telling him i loved him, and i did.
i loved him.
and he told me that he loved me, he truly loved me.
and we just kept exchanging soft kisses and teary glances.
and i was ecstatic beyond belief.
and when i awoke, i still loved him, for he made me a ring out of the moon, and he loved me, and the way he kissed me was magic.
and i cried because i lost him to reality.
and i tried to sleep again so i might dream of him, but it’s been months, and he has yet to visit my nightly dreams again.
and i remember him each and every waking moment, and i day dream about him all the time.
and i want him more than anything.
i want a man who knows what i want and wants to give it to me.
i want a man who will fill my time with so many wonderful minutes that i can’t remember them all.
i want a man who will make a ring out of the moon for me.
i want a man who will cry for me and with me.
i want a man who will love me so much that i cry.
i want a man who will make me ecstatic beyond belief.
i want my man.
and i will never have him.